Today’s the day.
It has arrived.
I seem okay,
But churn inside.
Nick grips my hand.
I’m reassured.
Gives me a wink.
No need for words.

The Nurses smile.
They are so kind.
I take the chair,
That I’m assigned.
Go through my notes,
Confirm it’s me,
That’s when I cry,
For all to see.

Sat next to me
A lovely man,
Who reaches out
And takes my hand.
He tells me that
We’re wrapped in love.
His wife, with tears,
Gives me a hug.

Two strangers who
Instinctively,
Show tenderness
And empathy.
I wipe my eyes,
And thank them both.
Must get a grip!
There is some hope.

The Treadmill

The next 9 months became this strange treadmill. Every fortnight, we’d go to the hospital on a Wednesday, to have blood taken before my oncology appointment. It was tested there and then, so by the time I met with my Oncologist later that afternoon they already had the results.

The more chemo you have, the more your immune system is weakened. So, when it gets too low, you are put on injections to boost your immune system to get you back on track.

If it was a go, then we would be back on the following Friday for my infusions.

If it was a no, then a week of injections before another blood test.

Either way, I would go to the appointments desk where I would book the next session of chemo and/or bloods before leaving. It was very efficient.

Chemo Days

On the Friday, all being well, we’d head back to the hospital where I’d sit in a chair for several hours receiving my chemo. During this time there would be an urgent need to pee, so every chemo suite has a disabled toilet with a wide door. This is so you can wheel in with your drip when needs must.

Just before leaving I’d be attached to a portable dose that I’d carry around in a bum bag until Sunday. That’s when my 3 day session would finally finish and be disconnected. I was also given a stash of anti-sickness pills and steroids to be taken at regular times. I took them without question.

Sunday was also the day that my PICC Line needed to be flushed and re-dressed with a clean dressing.

Lucky Me

I am very lucky that hubby Nick is extremely competent and ex NHS. He was happy to do it, so was shown by one of the community nurses what to do. This meant that they could concentrate on others that needed them, and we didn’t have to stay in all day Sunday waiting for someone to arrive.

Hiccups

There were some hiccups along the way; I developed a blood clot and as a result, my PICC Line had to be removed and I was put on blood thinners. After a month I had another PICC Line fitted in the other arm.